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Bridging the brain divide: How agents can connect with neurodivergent clients

by Abigail Cruz, Ph.D.

On average, we make 35,000 decisions every day. This includes decisions about what to wear, what to eat and how to get to places we’re going. If planning and organization are your strengths, these seemingly simple decisions may feel effortless. However, if your decision-making process involves considering all of the miniscule steps involved in any one of these situations, like the steps it would take to figure out a route to the train station, the train schedule and what time to leave to catch the train, then these tasks can feel like they take more energy than you have to get through the day.

This scenario is one example of how two people’s brains can work differently. Neurodiversity is a term that describes the natural diversity of our brains. Under the large umbrella of neurodiversity, you may be considered neurotypical if your brain works in a “typical” way, or you may be neurodivergent if your brain diverges from whatever is considered “typical” or “normal.”

While some neurodivergent folks may excel at planning and organization, like in the above scenario, others may struggle with executive functioning, which is a set of skills including planning, organization and time management, to name a few.

Executive functioning challenges can be common among ADHDers. ADHD, along with autism, dyslexia, OCD and many other brain types, are all part of neurodivergence. As each of these can be considered a disability and a protected class under the Americans with Disabilities Act, real estate agents cannot ask clients about a diagnosis or discriminate against disabled clients. So, how can you best serve neurodivergent clients?

When clients share what they’re looking for in a property, some of their asks may be preferences, but others may be absolute needs. As much as a certain number of bedrooms can be a need to accommodate the people who will be living in a home, characteristics such as in-unit laundry or proximity to a laundromat can be absolute needs when executive functioning struggles make it difficult to figure out the how, what, when and where of laundry. Clients may or may not disclose the reason property characteristics are a need; however, you can express curiosity and understanding when a client is discussing their needs with you.

Being specific in your communication, like discussing the difference between a preference and a need, is another best practice when working with neurodivergent clients. Autistic brains may diverge from “typical” ways of thinking by taking communication literally.

We can all imagine the feeling of dread that comes up when someone says, “We need to talk.” Similar feelings of dread or anxiety may come up for autistic folks when agents casually say, “I’ll see you soon!” For a literal thinker, “I’ll see you soon” may not be understood as only a simple saying or may bring up questions of whether “soon” means in an hour or two days.

With so much communication being involved in homebuying, agents may already discuss with clients what the best form of communication is for them — whether phone, email or text. This can be helpful for the busy client who can schedule only a five-minute conversation between meetings, but also for the client for whom one type of communication is more accessible than another.

Consider again the client who thinks about all of the minuscule details before making a decision. When you need time to process so much information, email or text may be necessary instead of phone calls. Asking about accommodations for communication or other parts of the homebuying process is one way that ensuring accessibility for neurodivergent or disabled clients benefits others, like the busy clients!

Neurodiversity is a relatively new term, so you’re not alone if you’re new to it and still learning what it means. Having a compassionate curiosity in which you ask questions about your clients to get to know them as a person helps us connect rather than categorize people as “normal” or not. Recognizing what are clients’ preferences versus needs, being specific in your communication and asking about accessibility needs or accommodations are just a few ways that agents can provide an affirming experience for neurodivergent clients.

While being neurodivergent means having a thinking style that is different from the norm, remembering that neurodiversity is a natural phenomenon that exists even between two neurotypicals can help agents relate to and best serve all clients.

Abigail Cruz, Ph.D., is staff therapist and Let’s Talk coordinator at Carnegie Mellon University. She was a presenter at the diversity, equity and inclusion summit presented by the Chicago Association of REALTORS® this year.

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